|How long am I going to have to wait?
||[Jan. 30th, 2007|12:25 pm]
Lately I've been joking around with Isaac about when we were going to set a date, normally he just gives me a funny look and changes the subject. Now it's getting to the point where I don't know what he wants to do. Why has he put his divorce off for so long? If he really loves me the way he says he does, wouldn't that make him want to get it done all the more, especially now with the baby on the way? I feel like he doesn't want to move on because theres something about Heather that he doesn't want to give up. Am I just going to stay his "girl-friend" until he decides he's ready? When our child is like 5 years old and comes to me and asks me why mommy and daddy aren't married what do I say? Everytime I try bringing this up with Isaac or ask him some of these questions he changes the subject or says "I'll get it taken care of don't worry" and then the whole thing gets put off even longer. Is it just my hormones that are making me feel this way or is there something I should really be concerned about? I'm afraid to talk to him about this again because he might take it as me nagging or being too pushy. I mean am I wrong to feel like this? So many questions and the only real person that has the answers is Isaac, but how do I ask him without him either getting offended or not take me seriously. The last time this came up I almost broke up with him over it, it's not fair to me to sit here and wait and hope and dream about the day we get married when they might get shattered because he's still holding on to his ex. Is that what I have to be pushed to do to get him to realize how important this is? I don't want to have to do that, I love him so much and I don't want to loose him but what else am I supposed to do. How much longer am I going to have to put my life, future with him, on hold? I've been patient and understanding about this for over a year and frankly i'm starting to get tired of waiting for him to get this done. Sorry I'm not trying to dump my problems onto everyone but is there some kind of advice anyone can give me. This has been on my mind for a while and I want to talk about it with him but at the same time I don't want to push him away. He's the father of my child and I'm just as crazy about him now as I was when we first got together. I can't picture how my life would be without him, I love him so much but this thing is hurting me. Any advice you can give please email me back, again sorry for dumping my problems on you, I guess I just needed to talk to someone about this before bringing it up with Isaac.